After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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