I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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