Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
