Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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