and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
