Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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