i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
