why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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