Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
