is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
