It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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