Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
