Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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