THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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