Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
