Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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