she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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