so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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