Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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