How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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