doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
