he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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