Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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