Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
