What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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