So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I take back everything I said about communal showers
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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