maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize