My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
