whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
