If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
