So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Randomize
