i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
