I hate your face
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
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