Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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