I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
