The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
