What did we do last night that was yellow?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
