So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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