i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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