didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Bring me that man meat
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
