I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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