I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
