I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
