I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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