There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
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