Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
