you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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