you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
