She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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