Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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