But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
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I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
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Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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