Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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