she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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