awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
