The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
