is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I've blown a few things in my day
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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