they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Randomize
