My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
