I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
