my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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