I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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